I'm fangirling this week about DARK DOT

So, we start of with a game you probably never heard before. Dark Dot. Doesn't ring a bell? Thought so. So Dark Dot is where a "dot" wants to CONQUER THE WORLD NOBODY STOPPING ME HEY! (That's actually a song) anyhow, you fight with these things called Darklets to the very end and after that EVIL LAUGH MODE!!!!! He conquers that part of the realm and the game keeps going. Pretty nice huh? Here's a little more info. Announced September & released October 2011, there was a game. Created by the Singapore MIT Gambit Game Lab, this iPad exclusive game was called Dark Dot. It was a 2D shooter that was free on the App Store---with a twist. Players could draw and use any formation they dreamed of, as long as it was a shape that connected. You played as these cute little characters called Darklets, who were led by their leader, the Darkest of Terrors, in a conquest to take over the world. However, there was one thing that plagued him---everywhere he went, he was called a “Dot”.   But not to criticize Gambit, BUT THE GAME IT TOO FREAKING SHORT AND ENDS WITH A "JUST YOU WAIT!" (spoiler alert) I BEEN WAITING FOR 3 YEARS NOW GAMBIT, 3 YEARS AND YET TO BE STILL ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAITING. But, I digress. Its been taken out of everywhere and I'm probably the only one that still  has a working copy of it. If you play the games a few times, then you can unlock all levels and in 15 min. Bye!  (The picture below is the final boss the Cyclone king.)and that Happy guy in the pic. is the Darkest of Terrors. Also seen here is the cover of the app, and the Darkest of Terrors shown him.

So Bad It's Good: Foodfight!

Foodfight (one word) was originally going to be released in 2003, but someone stole the footage. Why someone would steal footage of this awful movie is beyond me, but it cropped up again in 2011 when it was put on auction. It was bought by "Threshold Entertainment," which I certainly have never heard of, and released in 2012.

The concept is actually kinda cool. The Marketropolis Market is a regular supermarket by day, but it becomes a huge city at night. It's populated by many brands including Mr. Clean, Mrs. Butterworth, and a version of the Cap'n Crunch guy. There's a lot of product placement in the movie, incidentally.

The movie starts out with Dex Dogtective (voiced, of all people, by Charlie Sheen) fighting a fat cat burglar named... Fat Cat Burglar... on a blimp. After knocking off some of the ugliest hamsters ever, he then pops the blimp, sending Fat Cat Burglar to his doom, yet Dex somehow survives. Fat Cat Burglar never appears again, though the hamsters unfortunately do.

Then Dex proposes to his girlfriend, Sunshine, while his annoying "sidekick" Dan Daredevil sky-writes a picture of Dex proposing... for some reason. But in order to draw the ring Dan has to do the loop-da-loop, something which "he's never pulled off before." The plane blows up in midair somehow, and Sunshine goes off to see if he's okay. She ends up disappearing.

I wouldn't miss her. She's scary!

The movie flashes forward six months, to when the flailiest guy ever pushes for "Brand X" to be stocked in the market. The owner agrees for some reason, and "Lady X" comes into the city. She attempts to... seduce Dex (this is a kid's movie), but he refuses. Soon Dan disappears, and Lady X captures Dex, too. He and Dan are put into a dryer, but they escape ("Socks! That's it! Socks always escape the dryer!"). Then they travel to the owner's computer to get Brand X recalled, as it contains addictive elements according to a big-nosed scientist. While this is happening, there's a great scene where the Brand X people are trying to get the population of the city to sing their jingle ("Brand X, Brand X, it's simple and plain"), but the people sing the French national anthem instead. Okay...

Why would the store owner ever trust this guy?

There's one scene where this scientist sneezes. It's not pretty.

Unfortunately, a guy working for Brand X turns off the power before the recall email gets sent. The next half hour (a third of the movie) is just a big fight. I won't give anymore away, should you decide to watch this trash.

So, this movie apparently cost $65 million to create. I have no idea where that money went, because if you haven't noticed from the screenshots, the animation is awful. It may be from 2003, but Toy Story was made in 1995 and its animation was pretty good.

Also, this movie is full of non-kid-friendly content. Many of the movie's quotes can't be written here ("I think I wet myself... it feels kinda nice"), as it's full of sexual jokes, racist jokes, and anti-Semitic jokes. There's also a weasel that dabbles in the black market. And there are fart jokes, too.

I would say this is worth watching just for the awful animation. You can find the full movie on YouTube. Finally, here are some of the other screenshots I took.

The creepiest person ever.

Or maybe this one. She's in the process of farting in this picture.

The guy that starts the French national anthem.

What is wrong with this guy's face?

The weasel.

"Duh... who's Benjamin Franklin?" Actual quote.

The girlfriend once again.

A Review of: Electricman 2

Electricman 2 is a 2D stick fighting game where you can change your character to the way you like it with the choice of six different colors and eight characters for your name. You can choose from three different difficulties, easy, normal, and pro. Easy is EXTREMELY easy, and is only recommended if you have never played a fighting game EVER before. This is because the enemies have very little health and come in twos and threes.
Normal is recommended if you haven't played the game before, and pro is recommended if you have beaten the game on normal. The game starts with a short tutorial that shows you how to use your moves and to get used to the controls. It then starts off with the actual game. It is played in a tournament style, so you get to fight a little less every round. There are about 6 different groups that get harder as you go, but the hardest is the Tech Team. The Tech Team has a medium amount of health and run away to regenerate some of what they took. This is one example of the unique enemies you fight in Electricman 2. Some fight in numbers, some dodge, some have loads of health, and some have a balance of all of those, which makes the game very interesting. If you can get by every round, you get to the final boss, Death.

Death is a combo of ten minions and one main boss. The minions have almost no health and are easy to kill, but don't stop moving, because they can easily defeat you if only a couple trap you. The main boss has a medium amount of health, dodges, and can regenerate pretty quickly. If you can actually get to Death, it's not that hard, which is a disappointment. The ending is also disappointing, as all that happens is your character dances around and it says, "Congratulations, you won the tournament!"

Overall, our average score is 7.75/10. A fun game, but not outstanding. Decent replayability, as you can try many different strategies to win.




                                          Thanks for reading! -Detox Pig

The Fault in Our Stars Review thing

Don't say I didn't warn you

When you read The Fault in Our Stars

two things will happen.

1. All the TFiOS jokes and comics will suddenly make sense 

2. You. Will. Cry..... So. Hard.

Well those things happened to me.
If you didn't cry, you're either heartless or really strong.
I cried. ;-; Sadness

Still love the book
And you have to read it.......
NOW

If the movie changed ANYTHING
I will be so mad. Beyond madness
But yeah

Okay byee
PixelCupcake

Weird game corruptions & glitches

So, this is just a list of game glitches and corruptions in various video games.

The first is from the Sims, and it's called the "Demon Baby".

When a baby is born in the Sims, it can sometimes stretch and warp like this. Eeeeewwwwwww.

The second one is from Rocky on the PS2, and this is supposed to be Clubber Lang.

This is caused by a rare 3D plane glitch, which affects most of the game when it happens.

Number three is in Mario 64, and this extremely rare corruption affects most of the game. So you have a comparison, here's the original:

And here's the corrupted version:

Apparently, his nose is gone, his mouth is inside out, his mustache is stretched, his cheeks resemble those of a chipmunk, his eyes are missing the whites and are floating in midair, and his ears look like sideways bunny ears. Wow.

And finally, I have a creepy Legend of Zelda texture corruption that (I'm pretty sure) only affects Link's face. I'm not clear on what Zelda game this is from, but I think it's "Twilight Princess" (which sounds like a Disney movie). Anyway, here's the glitch.

This would never intentionally be in a Zelda game. Apparently, he has bright red eyes with white pupils, and a giant static-like smile. Gross and creepy.

How in the whole wide world are you supposed to defeat the computer in Hexagon?

And now we enter with the tune of I can't defeat Air man. Really, I can't defeat the computer in Hexagon! As I would guess you guys never heard of the game Hexagon so.... Hexagon is a game that you play with a computer or another player. So, I'm a champion playing against others but then, I CAN'T DEFEAT THIS RANDOM CPU I TRY TO STRATEGIZE AS FAST AS I CAN (I'm not as good as my brother in parodies....). Any way, is there a glitch to make the computer NOT figure out your next move and have back up? Oh right, more about the game. So, it's ruby vs. pearl. The board is in a shape of a Hexagon and you try to ¨zap¨  the other opponent to get them on your side. When the board is filled whoever has the most of their side wins. That's all!

PSA: Burrito Bowl: Taste the Menace

Dear readers, usually I write reviews of free games you can play on the internet, and this will resume, but I must take a day to bring to light the BURRITO BOWL MENACE.

BLASPHEMY!!!!!

Yes, the Burrito Bowl. You may have seen this menu item at your local Chipotle, and thought nothing of it! However, as a journalist, I must inform you about the TERROR that is THE BURRITO BOWL.

It's just a bowl filled with food! It's false advertising!

Also, it's without form! The burrito is elegant, it's efficient, and it's easy to hold! A burrito bowl is just glorified salad! And the worst part is, THEY SERVE SALAD TOO!!!! It's not like they don't already have salad, if they did, it would be excussable. 

Please, spread the word about the dreaded BURRITO BOWL, and please, think of the children.

-CrossbowPig